Simple Living Pop Star Triggers Boom

From Knight-Ridder News

Just hours after JC Chasez, member of the boyband NSYNC, declarared his Mennonite faith on the CNN's Larry King Live, Lancaster County in Pennsylvania experienced a resurgence in teenage visitors, reported the Pennsylania Board of Tourism.

"Teens aren't usually in the market for what our area is known for. They'd rather go to Mardi Gras and show off their assets instead of learning how to twirl a pretzel or make candles. We haven't seen this kind of boom since those pilgrimiges to find Ed Kowalczyk's lost braid in '97. But since Live sucks now, the area has really died down," said April Eaton, head of the "We're Not Just Quilts! Party down with the Amish! See Mennonites up close! Visit Lancaster!" campaign.

An analyist for the Harrisburg Patriot, Mark Heffner, notes that there has been a 15% increase in the revenue being brought into the area. "What we're seeing is a lot of young girls, who are bringing Daddy's hard earned money, and are ready to spend with abandon. They may misprounounce 'Lancaster', but they sure know how to spend here." Stores like Deb and Claire's have reaped most of the benefits, catering to the teenage thirst for sparkly tube tops and hoop earrings.

"My friends and I, we totally decided to come here for Spring Break after we saw JC on that interview, where he said he was Mennonite? I knew I had to go check it out because anything he's into, I'm into!" proclaimed Marybeth Watters of Corning, NY, as she waited next to a roadside stand waving a sign decorated with glitter and puffy paint.

Her roommate, Heather Mack, was also excited. "I have no idea what this whole thing is about, but I know a lot of them wear black, which is totally slimming! And like, I think they get to wear brand name sneakers still, which is cool. Yeah! Go SUNY!"

Originally gaining status as an Amish/Mennonite mecca back in 1985 when parts of the Harrison Ford movie Witness were set and shot there, Lancaster further cemented their ties with an incident that occurred on a local radio station, FM 97, when a DJ at the time, Jo Jo, played "Amish Paradise" 20 times in a row and was fined by the FCC. The station already is set to tap into the market with a parody about Chasez entitled "Bringin' Da Buggyz."

But not everyone is excited about the new tourism. "I haven't seen this many outsiders since the Amish vs. Mennonite Butter Churn-Off of '42," said Jebediah "Jeb" Lapp. "They keep waving around these evil paper type items and their shiny markings of the Devil are scaring the bejesus out of my horses. Some have even asked me how they can become one of us. I hope they go back to Hell, before we are all damned to their complicated ways."

NSYNC's management company, WEG, issued a statement saying:

"We were unaware that an admission of religion could cause this much hype and apologize for any inconveniences. We would also like to state that Justin Timberlake has converted to Buddism."

Chasez was not available for comment.