the shaaa-zay cafe

humor



[orlandobowie: diary of a misunderstood artist]
We give you access to a famous popstar's diary

[jc + britney = <333333333...?]
Is love in the air amid the simulated masturbation and lip-syncing? Jessa has a quick sniff

[on joey's hotness]
Finding Joey attractive is surely a phase you grow out of. Probably

[concert fashion - the breakdown]
How to tell what sort of concert-goer you are, based on how well you apply eye-liner

[date this!]
The Cafe: match-maker par excellence

[justin timberlake's cross-over dribble]
We're still waiting for Timberlake's first novel, but here's a taster

[behind the scenes of on the line]
Joey's diary of a typical day - it's not all about sex on a film set, you know. Some of it's about snacks

[dear valentine]
Love poems sure to warm the cockles of your heart

[celebrity - the preview]
We're still not sure how these fine songs didn't make it on to Celebrity while Girlfriend did

[concert signs and you]
Hold up a sign that will get you noticed and your Dan Status officially validated

[nsync porn]
Bad fic - Lance with a girl?!

[boyband breakdown]
Why NSYNC and BSB fans will never get along

[fan... or dan?]
Take our quiz! It's more fun than doing shots off Justin's abs with Lance picking up the tab

[the idiot's guide to being a boyband photographer]
Not sure how to drape Christmas lights on the boys? Our handy guide talks you through it

[merry gentlemen]
How the NSYNC boys spend Christmas.

[jc - hot or not?]
A pictorial examination

[our backstage pass game]
Our immeasurably better version, so there's no need to go trawling through garage sales for the original

[day in the life of a dan - kd]
Or how Shopper's High weakens your immunity to Bad Pop

[day in the life of a dan - wd]
May or may not include inappropriate thoughts about Lance

[the big five]
What does your choice of NSYNCer say about you?

[nsync - the real story]
It doesn't take much digging though Orlando's seedier side to discover how our boys got together

[the oracle speaks]
Forget everything you've been told. If you want the real scoop on NSYNC, go to an online Oracle

[import singles - work of the devil]
No time to argue KaZaA's impact on record sales - there's a Belgian version of Giddy Up in Borders with our name on it

[the idiot's guide to writing an nsync song]
Follow these simple instructions and one day you too will have your NSYNC song reduced to an indecipherable acronym on message-boards

[short people]
Just because you're famous, doesn't mean you're allowed to lie about your height

[merchandise whores]
NSYNC merchandise gems you might have missed, along with some of our own ideas: a Lance speaking watch? It's a licence to print money, baby!

[day of the jackal]
You haven't made it until you get your own death threat

[the wisdom of rap]
How every NSYNC boy has been a muse for at least one rapper

[the spelling conspiracy]
Pick a single way of spelling NSYNC, boys, and stick with it. The Cafe has spoken

[thuggified lyrics: bye bye bye]
Lance vetoed the release of this, which really pissed off ODB. JC had to make serious amends to get him to guest on Some Girls. The words 'conjugal' and 'visits' come to mind

[thuggified lyrics: giddy up]
Another one Lance thankfully vetoed. And you thought he was the useless one in the group

[songs about crack: space cowboy]
The defining track in JC's Crack Canon

[fun with spanish: yo te voy amar]
Watch it, we're armed with Spanish dictionaries and we're not afraid to use them

[what they really meant: giddy up]
Did anyone believe all that 'it's about horses' crap?


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